When You Buy A Unit The Gamble Can be Scary Good
It was a smoldering summer day in Georgia, so humid my shirt was sticking to the small of my back. On days when the wind dared to stir, the storage auction trail was always sparse. Sales for many slowed during the summer months and so did their acquisition of inventory. For our company, one that marketed extensively online it was a time to stock up and get units at 70%-90% off the fall and winter prices for the similar stocked units.
To the informed and prepared it was an awesome time to buy!
We were on Cheshire Bridge Rd, a day of love from the storage auction gods, four bidders and twelve units. We just looked at each other, not a word spoken. A day like this was rare. I knew the other three bidders quite well. I knew what they liked and their comfort levels and they knew mine. Moments like this turned friends to enemies and vice a versa. My intuition felt nothing but rhapsody.
Just like that a deal was struck, a nod here and a wink there. This silent pact went down in thirty seconds, we had seen this day before and in each one of our black hearts we prayed that a “new comer” would not show up and fuck up our opportunity for legal larceny . The seconds were filled with anxiety, each car that pulled in was a perceived threat to the economy of our ad hock agency on a stifling day in July.
We were as jumpy as burglars under hot search by a police helicopter, we wanted this auction to start on time. Before each auction there is this moment of “what if” you never know when you are going to get on one of those units that will change your life.
We all hugged hope and embrace the good fortune that a last-minute delinquent tenant would not come in on hand and knee with a few pennies to offer. Those scenes always delayed the start of the auction, by fifteen to twenty minutes. Plenty of time for that one person to come and change the complexion and outcome of the day.
The manager came out and motioned for us to follow, no need for rules, he knew us all. As the gate clanked closed a guy I will call Jim, was smiling so hard, he could not contain the glee that sparkled in his eyes. Once that gate closed no other bidders could join our party. The storage auction deities where with us to end, no mere tease of good fortune and prosperity, a promise kept is a form of love.
Unlike television no one cheers,no fist pumping nor clapping, except for pre-auction bullshitting and bidding speckled with comments about the unit, most auctions back in the day where fairly quiet. Our mob of four was no different.
The first unit was a mess, but a lovely mess. Nothing but clothes and the remnants of a hasty departure. I got $1800 dollars worth of eBay inventory for $5, the people moved out what they wanted and just stopped paying. Based on the clothing I could only imagine what was once there.
The next four units went cheap, nothing over fifty dollars and always went to the first bidder. On the nicer units “token” bids were thrown in the air to give this auction “a scent of legitimacy” we all played our parts in this show. The manager knew what was going on, but there was nothing he could do to stop it and more than likely he did not care.
This was a small and esoteric world that many knew nothing about. They saw the same faces year after year and other than random jankiness here and there the system worked out on both sides of the road. They recouped some of their losses, regained legal access to the unit and we got the chance to increase our dollar through urban speculation and person effect abrogate.
Unit number seven was how I became a panty pimp, yes a reseller of soiled women’s undergarments. I was kinda taken back when I got to peek inside after the auction was over. It was looking good in the front. A nice solid wood bedroom set from the sixties that still had life and beauty written all over it.
I bought four units, for less than $100 dollars, based on the good nature and easy talk in the office as we settled our affairs. Everyone was more than pleased with their purchases, I think I spent the most out of the group. We all knew the spike in prices was just around the corner as soon as the kids went back to school costs would increase every week as demand picked back up.The place was Buckhead and the spot was “ The Storage Spot” which was purchase by Extra Space Storage.
If you did not know storage facilities buy and sell each other in a wild industry game of chess and location, location, location is everything in the storage rental business.
I have a secret
The slutty secret of the unit was the aspect of the game that I enjoyed the most. You never knew what you where going to get out of a unit. The unknown was bound by fear and excitement for me each new unit was a big fat Christmas present, I had the pleasure to unwrap and if Santa was good to me, make that beautiful thing called profit.
Unit seven was the biggest unit I bought that day, I like to handle the big stuff first, it is easier and faster. I paid $35 dollars for a 10 x 15 that was 90% packed. I picked up a pair of cowboy boots, from the corner of the unit and knew I had my money back and a small profit in my hand.
Nothing but upside and shock after that moment. The former owner had excellent taste and cared for her possessions. Just a quick eye-ball calculation was on the street of $2200 or more and I had not found the panties. That came later. A week to be factual.
That was a good day and we started making sales of the other units first, we had four truck loads of stuff for $100 dollars. My partner wanted to take advantage of the volume and blow as much as we could out on eBay. We quickly learned eBay was not seasonal, it was all about the products and we had stuff going all over the world.
I decided to spend a day of listing furniture items on Craigslist, this is when I found the panties. They were in the chest of drawers. Over 180 pairs of panties in clear plastic bags with dates, times and “contents” in all label with a strong tight script, almost technical in format.
I have found a number of odd, crazy and get the fuck out of her in a unit. Just when I thought nothing else could throw me, it does. The former tenant was a panty pusher or she was a kept panty factory. There was not enough information to correct the dots.
Once my senses came back on, I went about finding a way to sell them. I knew eBay was not an option. We had some sexual items removed before and they had a policy all clothing must be washed before selling that item.
The most salient aspect of the panties would be destroyed to comply with eBay’s policies. In a quick moment I hatched a plan. I knew I would need a stunt ass,my partner and I quickly deduced how we could get the right ass for the panties.
I have screamed it and said it in many video, but I fucking love Craigslist, you can get just about anything you want on Craigslist. Money, savings, a car, a home and even a stunt ass!
My first though was to just hire a regular chick, my mind quickly turned from that avenue. I needed someone with no compulsions about sex and a lust for adventure. I knew just the section. When you want a whore you go where whores live.
Back then the adult section was still open. I placed an ad for “Stunt ass” explaining my requirements. This is when the madness of the business dawned on me. I was on Craigslist Pimping Panties. The storage auction business brought so many things into my life. I may do a video about some of the respondents one day.
The stunt ass ad received over 400 responses from women and men, the women wanted the money and the men had specific questions about the panties, some so patently pervasive I felt I had tripped into kink world with no kneepads. I never knew the sight of rat carcasses and a million roaches would steel me for the land of alternative desires and whims…but they did.
I can say as bad as the emails were, my partner spent hours laughing at the requests. None of them really disgusted us or made us ill. After only a few months in the business, we saw much worse things come out of units.
Act 1 I am a Pimp
One young woman I though was normal, she was my first and only interview, she came to the spot with a stash of her own panties. Her plan was to be the stunt ass and have me
A) be the heavy as she put it on her panty rondevu
B) I sell her panties in exchange for stunt ass services
B) worked for me. What walked through my door and left was a change of perception and a deeper understanding of human nature. Let’s call her Mandy.
Mandy was around five foot nothing, a pleasant brunette, cute in that -sure I would hit it way and determined. There was a lot in her eye I had mistaken for brazenness, I was not on the same continent as the truth.
She had sold her panties before the danger factor kept her ambitious at bay. The last guy she sold panties too, stalked her until she moved. At first it was annoying, then it went to creepy. He moved her from wild and out there, to she come be the next missing girl. Her panty selling days came to a rapid conclusion.
She needed the money and leaped at the opportunity my ad presented with vigor. We talked and regardless of my intentions, she had made up her mind, I was the one. Moment by moment, what Mandy was and was not unfolded like a flower in the morning.
“I really got turned on knowing some guy was going to beat off to my panties”
I explained I had no intention of meeting anyone, all transactions would be online. In about 30 seconds she was 90% naked and was asking me to critique her pert and well-shaped ass. In a series of flirty movements, ass pops and ass swinging she won me over. I have a saying, when it is going well, kept going. She also had the fresh face girl next door look. Which proved exceptionally lucrative.
Now the weird part…
She had no issues with putting those panties from the unit on, not one protest or even a pause. She immediately went to work. I knew she was in this for more than the money, the rabbit hole added a basement. For my sanity I never mentioned the period panties I was clinging to the precipice of a freak out moment. No need to push it.
We decide to keep the pictures as natural as possible, no makeup, heels or any glamour, just a girl and her panties. Suckers were snatching panties like a hungry baby on a nipple.
We sold ten pair the first day!
Some of the panty collectors wanted to meet Mandy, one even offered $1000 for a simple no frills meeting. I said no, Mandy agreed, later his emails became violent and chaotic, someone needed a cookie and bad. Later on he would apologize and beg for forgiveness. ..he bought a lot of panties.
Having a merchant account ( what I was doing violated several contracts agreements) and the ability to sell online made this a breeze. We had folks from Japan ordering panties, the initial stock ran out within a month, we were selling three to ten pair a day!
Sweet Cotton $50
Pin strips $50
Period Panties $250 ( sold out in a day)
Sweat Drenched Thongs $75
Panties have voices, yes they do, the more perverse the tone, the greater the profit. My life as a Panty Pimp went on for some time. Mandy was precocious and productive. That girl was minting panties like the Fed printed money on QE3, there is nothing like pride and joy in your work. Mandy decided to go back to Green Bay, she missed the place and as she put it, lived many fantasies in Atlanta. I bet she did. Yes, my mother knows about this.